Fugazi, Part 8: The Argument

Twenty, thirty years from now, when the story of Fugazi is written by smarter people than me, they will probably point at “The Argument” as their crowning achievement, the culmination of their evolution as a band and the pinnacle of what they could do.  That would be hard to argue with.

I point to this: I had a friend who absolutely hated Fugazi, but loved this album.  This was Fugazi at a different level.  This was a band that produced “Red Medicine” and came through “End Hits” and ended up here.

This was a focused band.  The opening lets you know that this is going to be a journey.  “Cashout” is all about the vocals and a noise rock chorus that would make no sense coming from anyone else.

The verse on “Full Disclosure” has so much urgency you have no choice but to get swept up in it as it pulls you into a surprisingly poppy chorus, the likes of which would feel right at home on the alternative top 40.  Even crazier is the outro that follows the last chorus, like something ripped from 90s radio, as if Fugazi are finally acknowledging all their contemporaries.  Of course, they follow that section up with some good old fashion punk rock noise, a reminder that they cannot be pigeonholed.

“Epic Problem” is Ian McKaye’s vocal stylings at their best.  The beauty is that he makes the lyrics a part of the song, a part of the actual structure of the music.  It helps that the music is great, with yet another 90s inspired section in the middle (I should probably point out that this album came out in 2001).  And then we get the outro, which is something right off of “13 Songs” with a little “Repeater” thrown in to finish it off. It’s a little bit sing song, a little bit head bopping, and more upbeat than you would have expected given the beginning of the song.

Remember those things I said before about Guy’s guitar style?  Welcome to “Life and Limb.”  It’s already a great song, but then you get to the center with this wonderful, quirky guitar solo over straight up pop music.  We come back to the moody stuff, of course, but that center section makes the rest even better.

You may have noticed a trend developing. There’s an awful lot of pop music on this record, but it very often undercut, either by wedging it into more jagged parts or by layering it with discordant guitars. It’s the perfect give and take for Fugazi, something that took them 7 albums to get to. These songs have the straight forward core of the best “In on the Killtaker” tracks with all the experimentation of the strangest “End Hits” songs.

When Joe Lally is singing you have an idea of the type of song you’re going to get. “The Kill” fits right in.  It’s ethereal, as most Lally sung songs are.  The song never explodes, never builds to anything, but it’s a constant, mellow groove with a nice change from the verse to the chorus.

Let’s just get right to it with “Strangelight” — as interesting as the song is, it’s what happens at the 4 minute mark that truly makes it great.  I don’t even know what that note-y part is being played on (guitar doubled with keyboards? With a violin?) and the changing piano chords make it sound ominous.  It’s wonderfully dissonant, yet darkly triumphant.

This could be the Fugazi album with the most mood changing moments in songs.  In this case, I’m talking about McKaye’s vocals in “Oh,” which is mostly sung by Guy.  But read back over my comments on the other songs on this album and the shift in tone is a regular theme.  Interestingly enough, the shift seems to frequently come at the end, a fitting microcosm of Fugazi’s library of work.

“Ex-Spectator” has a wonderful, double drum opening.  The verse is sparse and the chorus is full and powerful, driven by McKaye’s vocals.  What’s really interesting about this song is how it almost seems like an answer to “Public Witness Program” from “In on the Killtaker.”  Both songs seem to be about the dangers of not getting involved, but this song pulls the character forward.  The public witness can’t stand on the sidelines any longer.

“Nightshop” is probably the clearest use of keyboards we’ve seen from Fugazi (at the two and a half minute mark), and they’re used to excellent effect. We also treated to some acoustic guitars, as if the band decided they were going to jam all their non-traditional (for them) instruments into one song. This song makes me long for a new Fugazi record because it suggests that they were just beginning to experiment.

And now for “The Argument,” theoretically the last song on the last Fugazi album.  It’s everything you could hope for from a final song.  McKaye has said that the song is about how he will always be against war.  But he frames it as being a bigger argument that’s generally not made.  The song itself would suggest that McKaye is calling out those who get bogged down in the small debates, who never see the forest from the trees: “that some punk could argue some moral abc’s/when people are catching what bombers release.”  It’s an argument against the myopic.

It’s also the perfect example of the evolution of the band.  The vocals are perhaps the pinnacle of what McKaye has managed to do over the years.  The song is fairly quiet and pretty, with a quixotic keyboard break.  And then it explodes.  It explodes in exactly the way you would want a Fugazi song to end, with heavy guitars from McKaye and a dynamic, catchy note-y part from Guy.  It’s damn near perfect.

And then it’s over.

If this is the last we ever hear from Fugazi….well, I’ll still be sad about that, but they went out on a high note.

Fugazi, Part 7: Instrument

It became fitting that Fugazi released an album of outtakes (and a documentary) when they did.  The band had already gone their separate ways and were making music together less and less frequently.  The writing should have been on the wall.

It’s hard to call “Instrument” an actual album, as it’s not.  It is exactly what it sold itself as: a collection of outtakes.  Sadly, most of those outtakes aren’t particularly interesting.  It actually goes a long way to confirming that the band is the bunch of lo-fi, regular guys that everyone thought they were.  “Instrument” is filled with the type of junk that is being recorded in every basement in America.  This is Fugazi showing us that they’re no different.  They record every single thing they think sounds good, too, even if they realize after the fact that it’s crap.

In their defense, there are some gems on this record, some bits and pieces that I would have loved to have seen as complete songs.

The “Apreggiator” demo is interesting given how much they increased the speed for the recorded version, which was a smart decision.

“Afterthought” introduces us to Fugazi using keyboards and it become apparent over the course of this album that they could have done great things with keyboards. Why they never did more, I don’t know, but between this song and “Little Debbie” it was clear they could have produced something great incorporating keyboards.

“Trio’s” is darkly atmospheric, more so than anything else the band has recorded, which is probably part of the reason it never materialized on an album.  “Turkish Disco” is the first track that sounds like a relatively complete song, so much so that I wonder why it didn’t end up on another record.

The question about keyboards is also applicable to piano, an instrument Fugazi used as window dressing in the past, but never as the focus for a song. “I’m So Tired” suggests that they should have placed it front and center for at least a few tracks.

The demos for “Rend It,” “Closed Caption,” and “Guilford Fall” are interesting enough for big Fugazi fans. The “Rend It” demo is great given how drastically the song changed over time.

“Swingset” has a fantastic verse, but the attempt at a chorus makes it clear why it’s an outtake.

“Shaken All Over” is basically just a recording of Joe playing a bass line.

“Slow Crostic” is exactly what it says: a slower version of “Caustic Acrostic.” This particular track is noteworthy because it’s the basis for a song on the Wugazi album, a mash-up of Fugazi and the Wu-Tang Clan.

In the end, “Instrument” is a collection of songs for only the biggest of Fugazi fans.  It’s great as a glimpse inside the creative process, but doesn’t offer much beyond that. It is, to be honest, an odd duck of a release. Nothing about this record suggests that it needed to see the light of day, yet here we are.

It really just kind of mucks up the Fugazi library.

Fugazi, Part 6: End Hits

“End Hits” deserves the shit that it’s gotten from Fugazi fans, but that doesn’t stop it from being a great album.

If “Red Medicine” was the beginning of a new era for the band, “End Hits” is them pushing the envelope of that era, seeing what the limits are.  It’s as if they were pleasantly surprised by the music they discovered they could make on the last album and now they were cautiously seeing if it actually suited them.

“Break” is the perfect first song for this album.  It’s got a classic Fugazi groove layered underneath this relaxed, almost jazzy clean guitar part — and is that piano I hear?  It sure is, this time used as an instrument and not as a vehicle for noise (as with the last album).  McKaye’s vocals in the center, when it’s just him and a single guitar, are strange, but still fit the song perfectly.

Follow that up with classic Guy rocker, “Place Position” and you’ve got the makings of a fantastic new school Fugazi record, albeit one that seems definable.  But you’d be getting ahead of yourself.

Joe Lally always seems to sing on the more atmospheric songs and “Recap Modotti” is no exception.  We’re venturing into stoner rock territory here, which is shocking, given that none of them are stoners.  Even the teases of a build up ultimately don’t pay off.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not something you’d expect from Fugazi…which is something you should get used to over the course of this album.

And while we’re on the subject of weird song arrangements, here comes “No Surprises.”

But then, like the parting of rain clouds, we get “Five Corporations,” a fantastic example of how new Fugazi can still rock out like old Fugazi, but with more complex music.  And we’ve even got that trademark Fugazi anti-establishment going on.  Seriously, that tempo change for the chorus is unbelievable, particularly when it’s followed by just bass, drums, and vocals for the verse.

“Caustic Acrostic” is a great song, a modern day Guy-style Fugazi song.  You could tell, since Red Medicine, that Guy had gotten away from playing chords.  I have to think that was a response to Ian McKaye’s style of guitar, whose riffs and palm muting were more often a hammer than a scalpel. Guy’s style evolved out of necessity and it made them a better band.

Things get weird again after “Caustic Acrostic.”  “Close Caption” and “Floating Boy” are spacey, atmospheric jams that push the boundaries of traditional song structure.  They’re glorious little oddities amongst the larger Fugazi library, wonderful experiments by a band that is no longer bound by a static sound. Most Fugazi fans I know hate these songs.

We bounce back with “Foreman’s Dog,” which is surprisingly straight forward for this album.  It kind of reminds me of something to be found on “Steady Diet,” yet with a better sound.  And speaking of straight forward, then we get “Arpeggiator” which is ostensibly just a scale, but somehow Fugazi makes it great.

“Guilford Falls” feels like another new school Guy song, with an initial hook that is made up of picking each string rather than strumming chords.  It’s also got the classic Fugazi “introduce a new part by having just one guitar play it, then everyone eventually kicks in.”  Again, it’s a complex song with layered guitars and an interesting structure, but it still has some classic Fugazi qualities.

 And then we hit “Pink Frosty.”  It is possible there’s no more maligned Fugazi song in their catalog than “Pink Frosty.”  It’s understandable: it’s barely a song.  It sounds like someone took some drugs and mixed an outtake for the album.  It’s completely insubstantial, which would be much less of a problem if it weren’t more than four minutes long.

It’s hard to figure out what Fugazi is doing here. They obviously liked “Pink Frosty” enough to put it on the album, but does it have a thematic purpose? Is it meant as a palate cleanser before the big finale? The album is 13 tracks long so it’s not like this needed to be on there to fill it out. Or was this an attempt at creating a balance with their first record, just in case this ended up being their last?

The last song on “End Hits,” “F/D” is bizarre, but it’s only bizarre because it appears to be two completely different songs smashed on to the same track.  What’s really interesting about it is that it’s a clear breakdown between an Ian song and a Guy song.  The very quiet opening features a straightforward chord progression with McKaye’s rhyme-y punk rock vocals and an up tempo drum beat.  But there’s a break and then the Guy song comes crashing down, full of dramatic guitar and vocals.  Yet for the twangy, high end guitar part, buried underneath it is a simple, driving guitar part that is, again, classic McKaye.

After a few seconds of silence when the song ends, we get outtakes from “No Surprises,” like a reminder that this album was all about experimentation.

“Red Medicine” was a much more together album, but “End Hits” was a clear bridge to where Fugazi was headed. This record felt like Fugazi preparing for the end, but not quite there yet.

Fugazi, Part 5: Red Medicine

“Red Medicine” was the first Fugazi album I ever bought when it was released.  Up until this point, I’d been playing catch up.

There’s a decent argument to be made that this is their best album.  It’s certainly the first salvo of the band taking their songwriting to the next level.

Right from the start, something is different.  There’s the energy we’re used to.  It opens with some crazy noise, but that’s not too surprising.  But are those…clean guitars?  And it’s an up tempo song?  And is that a guitar solo (loosely defined, sure)?

And it’s like Fugazi knows this might seem strange to you and they challenge you right in the song.  “I’ve got a question/how/do you like me?”

We are Fugazi and we’ve taken it to the next level!

“Bed for the Scraping” is classic Fugazi with a new Fugazi twist.  Groovestastic bass/drums, Ian McKaye grunting, but the guitar work is sharper and more layered than what we’ve seen before.  This is a new kind of punk rock anthem, but still has all the old school energy.

“Latest Disgrace” says “remember those weird noises at the beginning of this album?  That was just a taste.”  The first half of the song is bizarre, as if the guitars have been tuned differently, and everything besides Guy’s voice is muted, particularly the barely there drums by Canty.  Oh, and Guy goes falsetto at one point.  But then it all collapses into the kind of straight forward rocking we expect of Fugazi, it just has more power now, because it’s got new context.

“Birthday Pony” seems like it should sound like an old Fugazi song, but the production has changed it.  The palm muting, the big chorus — this should be “13 Songs” era Fugazi.  But the big chorus isn’t just big this time around, it’s full.  There’s a texture there that we haven’t seen before.  And you’re beginning to realize that Ian and Guy are pushing each other when it comes to vocals.  They’re going into uncharted territory.

“Forensic Scene” is an instant classic.

And then we hit the weird stuff.

“Combination Lock” is probably the most “jam” feeling instrumental Fugazi has ever released.  It feels like a song they’re just jamming on one day.  “Fell, Destroyed” could be a June of ’44 song.  “By You” is a crazy wall of sound with these mellow vocals by Joe Lally.  “Version” is yet another instrumental, but this one features a clarinet…oh, and the bass line from another song on the album (which we haven’t gotten to yet).  It’s almost like an undecipherable remix of a song that comes later on the record.

We return to more straight forward, yet no less creative, Fugazi rock with “Target.”  Yet again, though, there are guitars that are strikingly not distorted, and yet the urgency of the music hasn’t lessened at all.  There’s even the classic Fugazi palm mute a part by itself, then play it full blown with the rest of the band, yet it all feels much bigger.  Just listen to the guitars on “Back to Base.”  We’ve never heard anything like that on a Fugazi record.  It’s epic.  And “Downed City” is much the same, just more frenetic.  It’s wonderful.

I love “Long Distance Runner.”  In a lot of ways, it epitomizes “new” Fugazi.  We’ve got this full, kind of notey, two guitar bit, then some bass/drums action (with appropriate level of guitar noise), and a spectacular level of loud quiet loud.  It’s also works as the perfect metaphor for the band: they are long distance runners.  They are constantly moving forward.  They have yet to get stuck because they can’t stop.  “And if I stop to catch my breath/might catch a piece of death.”  No two Fugazi albums have sounded the same.  No two Fugazi albums will ever sound the same, because they are still running.

I’m convinced that one of the members of Fugazi has synesthesia, because I have synesthesia and the majority of these songs are red to me (“Birthday Pony” and “Do You Like Me” are yellow).  I think one of them saw the same thing when it came time to name this album.

At this point, “Red Medicine” became my second favorite Fugazi record. I don’t know that anything could dethrone “Repeater” from the top spot. “Red Medicine” would ultimately fall to #3 on my list, though, when it was all said in done. But which of the remaining records knocked it down?

Fugazi, Part 4: In on the Killtaker

If there was a darkness about “Steady Diet of Nothing,” “In on the Killtaker” was Fugazi exorcising it.

“Killtaker” alternately features the most aggressive and, up until that point, the most beautiful songs Fugazi had recorded.

If you were unsure what you were going to get after “Steady Diet of Nothing,” you knew from the first song, “Facet Squared.”  Open with some playful guitar noises, lay down a nice bass/drums groove, then explode into a driving, closed fist punch of a song, complete with McKaye’s forceful, grunting vocals.  This is a Fugazi that will not be ignored, something that was easy to do on the last album.  They’re not holding back this time around.

Still unsure?  Welcome to “Public Witness Program.”  They’re in full on attack mode now, yet the vocals are only getting more and more catchy.  The guitar interplay at around the 1:15 mark lets you know that this energy isn’t for show; you’re going to get Fugazi’s all on this record, and nothing less.

Then we get the first wild card: “Returning the Screw.”  It’s quiet and sparse, but McKaye’s vocals tell you that there’s something boiling underneath the surface.  And when it explodes — and does it ever — you realize that the energy from the first two songs is still here, just less frantic and more powerful.

I could go on and on about “Smallpox Champion,” but it would just be sad because I love the hell out of that song.  When they move into the second half of the song, I get goosebumps.

And that’s just the first four songs!  I haven’t even gotten to “Rend It,” “Sweet and Low,” “Walken’s Syndrome,” or, perhaps the best song on the album and the best “slow” song Fugazi has ever recorded, “Last Chance for a Slow Dance.”  This was clearly a band on a mission.

From what I remember, “In on the Killtaker” was a point of contention with Fugazi fans. There was a very clear divide between those who loved it and those who hated it. But I don’t think I’ve ever heard a cogent argument from those who hated it beyond “It’s not Fugazi,” which makes no sense.

Is this record a change of pace for the band? I guess. But it’s clearly a part of their evolution. You don’t get to “In on the Killtaker” without the three albums that came before it.

I think this was the Rubicon for Fugazi. This was the record where they discovered their sound. That’s not to say they didn’t move forward on future records because they most certainly did, but this is the album that got them to that very Fugazi place, a combination of dynamics, intricate song writing, that incredible rhythm section, a phenomenal duel guitar attack, and some next level vocals from both singers.

Stylistically, this could be called the “outro” album, as this is when Fugazi really found their “outro” game. This would become a calling card for the band: a brand new part to a song that only comes at the end. The aforementioned “Smallpox Champion” is a great example of this, but a lot of the songs on this record have them.

This is perhaps the first Fugazi record that fully embraced the “loud quiet loud” style, although it’s admittedly modified to better suit the band. Still, the dynamics on this record are certainly amplified. If you really wanted to reduce this album, you could call it “emo,” although it’s really not.

“Last Chance for a Slow Dance” was probably the song that created the divide among Fugazi fans, although I don’t know that for certain. Every Fugazi album has a “slow” song, so to speak, from “Promises” to “Shut the Door” to “Long Division.” All three of those are fairly unconventional as far as “slow” songs are concerned. “Last Chance” is much more produced and, yes, Guy Picciotto’s vocals do, indeed, make it sound more “emo.” Those Fugazi fans who didn’t like it were not going to find much joy going forward, either.

It’s interesting to note the titles of the four albums I’ve talked about so far.  “13 Songs” is almost tongue in cheek, like a refusal to actually name the collection of songs from two EPs.  In Fugazi’s mind, it wasn’t even an album at all, but a compilation.

Apparently, “Repeater” wasn’t just named after the song, but was a play on the Beatles “Revolver,” since a revolver is both a type of gun and a recorder — the same as a repeater.  What better sign is there of a band embracing their creative energies than by dropping an allusion like that?

But the playfulness of the first two albums disappears and we get “Steady Diet of Nothing.”  Not exactly a shiny, happy album name.  And then what comes after that?  “In on the Killtaker.”  It’s like depression and aggression, back to back.

This was all a part of the evolution of Fugazi, and evolution that would grow by leaps in bounds on the next two records.

Fugazi, Part 3: Steady Diet of Nothing

I hadn’t realized until this moment that I associate most Fugazi records with specific seasons. “13 Songs” was a winter album. “Repeater” was a summer album. “Steady Diet of Nothing” took me back to winter.

That’s appropriate, given that winters where I grew up were long and boorish, a seemingly infinite slog of depression. “Steady Diet” is kind of like that.

“Steady Diet of Nothing” is my least favorite Fugazi album, mostly because there’s so little variation to it.  The songs all have the same basic feel to them.  The dynamics that were building on “Repeater” seemed to take a back seat on this album. It felt like a much less adventurous album, as if the band had discovered a sound that they weren’t quite sure about, but were willing to play over and over and over again in hopes of getting it right.  

Fugazi didn’t evolve like I’d expected them to.

I would only discover years later that Fugazi themselves produced this album, something they’d never done before (and, I don’t think ever did again). This was obviously not the best idea, as the production is a major cause of the flatness of the album. These recordings are just not as dynamic as the songs.

Don’t get me wrong, “No Exit” has a nice climax, although it’s so insubstantial up until that point that almost anything would have felt climatic.  “Reclamation” is a stand out, and more of the type of thing I was expecting from them given the songs on “Repeater.”  But “Nice New Outfit” introduces a rhythmic guitar part that seems to show up in some form or another on multiple songs.  Coupled with the similar structure of a lot of the songs, the whole album feels monotone.

The songs aren’t as dynamic as they were on the first two albums. Fugazi was always a band that could make the most out of one or two parts for an entire song, but there was never a lack of depth or complexity. Long Division” is a great song, but it’s ostensibly one part over and over again, much the way “No Exit” was just two parts.  Everything’s at the same tempo, all the songs are fairly simple.

“Nice New Outfit” to “Stacks” to “Latin Roots” could be the most redundant section of the record. The famous start/stop dueling guitars of Fugazi are on display, but it seems like they don’t know how to use them yet.

There’s also a darkness to this album.  There was a certain amount of punk rock joy on “13 Songs,” and you could actually feel the creative excitement on “Repeater.”  That seems to have been sapped for “Steady Diet of Nothing.”

The successful songs on this record are the ones that have a hook of some kind. “Reclamation” is a classic, built around a singular guitar sound and a wonderful bass line. “Polish” is the culmination of what every other song on this record was trying to do. “KYEO” could have been on “Repeater.” The duel vocals push the song forward and the alternate chorus elevates the song and the final few “we will not be beaten down” resonate in a way that nothing else on the album does.

Looking at this record as a piece of the entire Fugazi catalog, this might be the most transitional record they produced. You can see the germs of what would become the next record already beginning to form. The Fugazi sound was starting to materialize.

Let’s face facts: a mediocre Fugazi record is still better than the majority of music out there, so this is by no means a bad album. But I was expecting something more.

I would get it in a big way with “In on the Killtaker.”

Fugazi, Part 2: Repeater

If I had any doubts about how great Fugazi was, those were removed when I heard the title track on “Repeater.”  The chorus is not remotely something you’d expect from anything resembling a punk band.  And that rhythm section?  Holy cow.  This was a band that clearly knew what they had in Joe Lally and Brendan Canty, and they knew enough to stay out of their way.

“Merchandise” and “Blueprint” could be the best back-to-back tracks on any Fugazi album. 

I got “Repeater” the summer of 1995, much of which I spent working two jobs. My mornings and afternoons were spent at a grocery store, my evenings were spent at a pizza place. While the pizza place was kind of cool and filled with other late teen/early 20s employees just looking to stay afloat and maybe afford some cheap beer, the grocery was one of a chain and felt very corporate.

I drove the delivery van for that grocery store. We had a bakery and there was a convenient store not far away that ordered fresh doughnuts every morning. Delivery was scheduled for 5:45AM (15 minutes before they opened). I woke up at 4:30AM for that job. There were days when I would work at that job until 2PM and then go to the job at the pizza place at 4PM, getting off work well after midnight. Thankfully, I managed to schedule shifts so that I never worked at the pizza place the night before I worked at the grocery store, although that certainly wasn’t the case at the start.

I listened to a lot of Fugazi that summer.

“Merchandise” became an anthem for me, the last song I would listen to before arriving at the grocery store. 

For as much as I love “Merchandise,” though, “Blueprint” quickly became my favorite song on the album. Yet another song with an anti-capitalism theme, “Blueprint” was less raging against the system and more feeling beaten down by the system. To this day, the ending gives me goosebumps.

And let’s not forget the driving “Greed,” which is ostensibly just two parts, yet still works, or the triumphant “Styrofoam.”  Is “Reprovisional” cheating a little bit?  Maybe, but it’s a great example of how the band had evolved in just two albums.  “Shut the Door” is a great follow-up to “Promises” from “13 Songs,” and is another step in the dynamic intensity Fugazi was quickly excelling at.

“Repeater” (the album) is also noteworthy because it’s the beginning of the duel guitar formation that would stick with them over the rest of their career.  Guy Picciotto quickly become an excellent song writer, and I think his influence on Ian McKaye pushed them both forward as guitarists.

“Repeater” was a big step forward from “13 Songs.” As much as enjoyed that first album, it had a specific sound, a lot of palm muting and guttural vocals. But “Repeater” was Fugazi’s statement record. “13 Songs” felt like a demo. “Repeater” was Fugazi making themselves known.

After two albums, I was hooked and I was prepared for “Steady Diet of Nothing” to move Fugazi even further forward.

Fugazi, Part 1: 13 Songs

Fugazi was working class punk rock when so many other punk rock bands seemed like they were still living off their parents.

For as liberal as they were, Fugazi spoke to my blue collar surroundings and helped me to realize that those to things were not antithetical. You could sit at a crimping machine attaching truck parts together over and over again for eight hours a day, five days a week, and still believe that everyone should be treated equally, that social programs were important and should be funded, and that war was never the answer. Fugazi didn’t just talk a good game, they lived it, and that came through in their music.

Pearl Jam??

Pearl Jam doesn’t get enough credit. I think every generation has those bands who are immensely popular and are very open about their not so popular influences. Nirvana did the same thing, although they were, like most of Pearl Jam, more interested in promoting their fellow Seattle bands, the ones who had played big parts in their lives but weren’t getting the same attention.

Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, was vocal about his favorite bands. He would go so far as to sing bits of their songs during concerts. Way back in my high school days, I got my first ever bootleg. It was a recording of Pearl Jam playing at a small club in Paard van Troje in the Netherlands. It was, appropriately enough, called Pearl Jam: Small Club.The 8th song of that show, after “Black” and before “Release,” was a song that Pearl Jam, to my knowledge, never actually recorded, which is for the best, as it’s not a particularly good song. On the bootleg, it’s titled “Saying No,” and it’s more or less about rape. It’s a four minute song and at the three minute mark, Eddie Vedder stops singing his own lyrics. Instead, he sings the outro of a song called “Suggestion.”

The Journey Begins

This was my introduction to Fugazi. In the winter of ’94, I had a CD player, but I didn’t use it much. I was still mostly listening to casettes, so that’s what I bought: “7 Songs” (sometimes known as “Fugazi”) by Fugazi which included not only the aforementioned “Suggestion,” but “Waiting Room,” which was, for whatever reason, Fugazi’s best known song. It was easily my favorite on that tape, although I loved “Bad Mouth” an awful lot, too.

Not long after that, I got “Margin Walker,” the cassette that made up the other half of Fugazi’s first EP, “13 Songs.” “Margin Walker” solidified my enjoyment of Fugazi, as the songs began to become more complicated. That opening to “Margin Walker” (the song), the bass line in “And the Same,” the vocals in “Burning, Too” – all great stuff. And that’s ignoring what was, I had been told, Fugazi’s real classic, “Promises.”

At this point in my life, I knew enough about guitar/bass/drums/vocals music to appreciate well crafted, creative songs when I heard them. The only hesitance I really had to fully embracing Fugazi was Ian McKaye’s voice. His were not the polished vocals that I was used to. Even the other non-mainstream bands I listened to (Jawbox, Sunny Day Real Estate, Velocity Girl) had, if not clear, than clean vocals. McKaye sounded like he was grunting out his lyrics, which took some time for me to get used to. Fortunately, I took to Guy Picciotto’s vocals right away.

But as much as I liked “13 Songs,” I hadn’t completely fallen for Fugazi. No, that would happen when I quickly moved to “Repeater.”

My Awkward Assocation with Punk Rock Part 3

I ostensibly moved to Atlanta because the drummer in my last band had moved there a year early.  He, however, had a job at CNN lined up, whereas I had nothing at all.

Not long after I moved, one of the bands from my hometown came to Atlanta to play a show.  I went to said show and got to see a few people I went to high school with that I’d now known for nearly a decade.  The band, Party of Helicopters, was pretty well known in the “scene,” if you will, so their show was a big deal.  It was at this show that I met the king of the scene.

I don’t know if such creatures exist anymore, now that we have the internet.  I mean, we had it then, too, but most people I knew were still on dial-up, so it wasn’t exactly the go to way of staying in touch or getting music.  I honestly don’t remember what the king of the scene in Atlanta’s name was.  For some reason, I want to say Matt.

Anyway, we met at that one show and he was nice enough and since I was new in town, it was cool to have someone to talk to that was into the same things as me (or, in this case, one thing that I was into).

Not long after that, another band from my hometown came to Atlanta to play.  This was a little bit different because I was not only friends with these guys from high school, they were also some of my best friends.  They came to my place before the show, we all hung out after the show, they stayed at my place while they were in town.

Their van ended up breaking down when they tried to leave, so they stayed a few days longer while it was getting fixed.  The king of the scene even managed to set them up with another show.  I think the Party of Helicopters was there again for that show, so afterwards it was this fairly big group of “indie” people hanging out.  At this point, the king of the scene seemed to assume that, since I knew all these bands from my hometown and I liked a lot of the same music, I was going to be a part of the “scene.”

I distinctly remember having a conversation with the king about some upcoming event.  Honestly, I remember it as being a phone conversation about an event that was either that night or the next.  I told him I was going to miss said event and I don’t believe I had a reason for missing aside from the fact that I just really didn’t care.

He told me that it was the type of thing that I “had” to go to.  I remember him saying that much.  I don’t remember how direct he was, but at the very least the implication was that if I wanted to be a member of the “scene,” then I had to go to “scene” based events.

Needless to say, that was my last experience in the “scene.”

There’s something to be said for the timing of that.  It happened the summer of 2000, and I was spending
more and more time online.  It was the heyday of Napster.  I didn’t need to go to shows to discover music.  Hell, I didn’t need to know anyone to discover music.

Two years later, I moved to Los Angeles.  The first few years were difficult for me with regards to music.  I met a lot of people and made some great friends, but none of them listened to the same things that I did.  I began going to shows by myself, which ultimately wasn’t nearly as pathetic as I thought it would be.

During those years, my tastes began to change, aligning with where I’m at now.  I still listen to the recorded in a basement, angst and anger punk rock, but it’s not my go to music.  It’s music of a mood.  It’s no longer my every day music.

These days, my music has softened.  I’m indie rock.  That’s probably the best way to put it, as much as that might pain me.  I listen to earnest rock music by bands that don’t have mainstream success.  The songs are more accessible, but still challenging, probably more so, even.  I listen to more singing than yelling, although I still enjoy some quality yelling.

Slowly but surely, I met people who were into at least some of the same bands I listened to.  Nicole quickly came on board with a lot of my music.  We started going to shows.  We started going to shows with friends.  The Troubadour was the greatest place on earth.

Even this started to tapper off after a while.  I got old.  A show that went until 1 AM on a week day was exhausting.  My feet hurt from standing.  I wasn’t the angry young man I was two decades ago.  And I’m fine with that.

These days, I listen to Pandora and Soma FM to hear new music.  My friends on Facebook talk about their favorite new bands.  I share with Nicole the bands I think she’ll like and keep the others to myself.  Every once in a while, if it’s a band we both really like a lot, we’ll make the drive into the city to see them.  We’ll stay up late.

I’m not punk rock.  I don’t know that I ever was.  But I had fun dabbling.  I had fun dabbling and it got me to where I am now.

It was worth it.

My Awkward Association with Punk Rock Part 2

My punk rock journey began in part 1.

On the Record

I mostly ordered records from Subpop and Dischord, since I knew I liked the Afghan Whigs and I knew I liked Jawbox (although I’d first heard both bands on major labels). Seven inch records cost between two and three dollars, which wasn’t much of an investment to try out a band I’d never heard of. I stuck some money in an envelope, stuck the envelope in the mail, and a few weeks later I had some vinyl goodness.

Once I discovered that Jawbox had their own label, DeSoto Records, I got a little crazy. I don’t think DeSoto released a 7 inch that I don’t own. Seriously, I’m looking at their web site right now and I’m pretty sure I own all of those.

From 7 inch records I went to compilations. I was in love with compilations. It was a great way for me to discover new bands, particularly if some of the tracks were by bands I already knew. There was the Simple Machines 7′ series compilation, the first Jabberjaw compilation, Dischord’s State of the Union comp, all those Kill Rock Stars compilations, and endless records put out by tiny labels in every town in America featuring bands their friends were in.

And then there were the ‘zines. Listen, I’m not much for “real” or “true” definitions of labels, like the whole fake geek business. But if you were actually involved in underground music at all back in the day, you read ‘zines. I mean, you just did. The internet wasn’t the place it was today, so you had to get all your information about upcoming shows, upcoming records, etc. from ‘zines. And some of the bigger ones would even release compilations of their own.

This was all going down during my sophomore year of college, my first year at Ohio University (after leaving a very small, very conservative school in the middle of the state). I’d been playing guitar for over a year by this point, so I was actively trying to find people to be in a band with. I actively sought out people by the music they listened to. It was all that mattered to me. It was horribly close minded, but I’m nothing if not committed. I dove in.

The Glory Days

I spent five years at Ohio University, three finishing my undergrad, two in grad school, and during that time I became a bizarrely active member of the “scene.”  I put that in quotes because I didn’t think such a thing existed, but often found myself in situations where I was planning shows that my band wasn’t even playing in.  The younger kids were really into creating a community, which was great, but I’ve always been a misanthrope, so going out of my way to organize social functions was very strange.

There weren’t a lot of “indie” rock bands at OU back then, and by default my first band, Middle Kittanning, became this strange kind of figure head.  A lot of that probably stemmed from the fact that we had a PA that other bands could borrow.  It also probably stemmed from my aforementioned involvement in the “scene,” as it were.  As if to firmly cement myself as part of this strange sub-culture, I got a job at a local record store.  Now I was that guy in that band who also worked at the music store.  I was defined by all of this.

I realize all of that sounds pretty arrogant and I don’t mean it to be.  We’re talking about a couple of dozen people in this so-called “scene,” at least at this point (it seemed to get larger as the years went on).  And Middle Kittanning really only filled a void left by the graduation of a band called Mr. Hand, who were a stark contrast to a lot of the garage rock that was going on at the time.  I was nothing special.  I’m just trying to make it clear at how completely submerged in this I was.

The kicker came in grad school when I moved into a house with other like minded individuals.  We had a basement full of musical equipment.  We were all in bands of one kind or another, if not multiple bands.  We had shows in our basement which bled out into parties in our house.  We became that house.  Every town has one of those houses, where the loud angry bands play through shitty PA systems and boys with patches and girls with pixie hair get drunk and awkwardly try to make out with each other.  We were that house.

The infamous 18 Oak St.

I remember a really nice kid from Memphis, new to OU, setting up a meeting with myself and another member of the house, to discuss the upcoming punk rock events.  I’d suddenly been roped on to the underground social committee.  A band once showed up at our house to play a show, but no one had told us (or anyone else).  They were on tour, so they just hung out.

Eventually, we even had recording equipment in our basement and a audio production major who could use it all (two, really).  Records were now being recorded there by bands from other towns.  It sounds arrogant to say that the house was a hub of some kind, but it really was.  I don’t remember there being a house like ours in the years previous.

A funny thing happened while my head was buried in all these things at OU: the music scene in my hometown of Kent, Ohio become a big deal.  Okay, that’s relative, but it seemed like every punk rocker’s eyes would light up when they learned where I was from.

I mention this because it became important when I finally left the nest, graduated from OU, and moved to Atlanta.